i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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