So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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