we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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