So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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