remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
