So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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