Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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