He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
