I want to make a zoo with you.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
