Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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