Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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