I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
you had me at cake vodka
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize