just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
