so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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