he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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