Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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