Non-Jews are for practice
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
