omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
