Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
vagina is talking i cant
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
