my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
