This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
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