i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
