I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
