The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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