I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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