do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
