You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
