The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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