I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
