Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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