everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize