dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just want to make out with him forever
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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