You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
third nipple confirmed
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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