Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
