"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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