We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
