I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
