i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize