The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
