Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
