Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
