When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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