I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
