Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
