i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
