all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
