Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
