sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
