I'm really into asian looking animals
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
