omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
