Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
pray to the hookup gods
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
