I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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