some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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