Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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