So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
