hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
