He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
