she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize