Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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