Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
