you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
