I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
